Bad Mommy Syndrome

Do a Google search for "Bad Mommy" and dozens of links pop up, from confess-it-all blogs of the barely literate, to well composed essays by professional writers. Mostly it's tongue-in-cheek, written by and for women who don't take themselves too seriously and have thicker skins. But it made me wonder why we have a compulsive need to confess our perceived wrongdoings? And where the line is drawn - what defines you as a "bad mommy"?

So here, without further ado, is the short list of why I might qualify, though I will staunchly defend my behavior to the end of time.

1. I have left my baby sitting on the bed, even after she started crawling. I push her to the middle of the bed and run like mad to hang up the towel, pull out the forgotten pajamas, or grab the missing pacifier. Sure, I could take her with me, and take 3 times as long to do the task. Or I can trust that she can occupy herself with whatever toy I'd shoved in her hands for the 10 seconds I'll be gone.

2. I believe in the 5 second rule. When the pacifier hits the floor at 2 a.m., I can turn on the lights, stomp out, wash it, stomp back in, and spend the next 2 hours trying to get Otter back to sleep. Or I can feel around for it with my hand and, realizing she probably spent part of the day licking the floor anyway, entrust her well being to her immune system. Sometimes the rule can be stretched to 10 or even 15 seconds.

3. In a shocking disregard for all baby guide warnings, I've offered Otter strawberry before she turned 1. I've always been bit confused by what magical switch gets turned on August 26 that will minimize allergic reactions, and strawberries are so good right now. For the record, she's not allergic. Same goes for egg whites.

4. I've offered Otter a taste of cupcake and a bit of frozen yogurt. She liked the former, and not so much the latter. All lived to tell the tale, and she went back to eating her healthy, homemade food.

5. My kid falls occasionally, even when I'm watching her. She even got a shiner. But she's a tough baby and more than ready to explore her world - and I want to encourage that exploration, not stifle her. Falling is just part of exploring the force of gravity.

6. When Otter starts shrieking, I respond by shrieking back. It's a language she seems to understand, and it calms her, or at least entertains her.

7. I let her crawl around - even to the "dangerous" parts of the house. My FIL is very vigilant about which toys and furniture can cause SB irreparable harm, and is very fond of pointing out all the terrible things that "can" happen. I can't live in fear of the maybe's and might's. I'd rather watchfully assume she'll be ok.

8. I haven't baby-proofed. And even when I do, I plan to keep it minimal. The best form of baby proofing is to keep an eye on Otter and simply erecting caged areas for her won't keep her out of trouble.

9. I throw her in the air, swing her around and play the "shaken baby" game with her. She loves it and screams with glee. I have yet to rattle any brains.

10. I've been known to disregard the nap schedule when we need to attend an event. No, I don't plan my days around skipping naps, but come on people - it's not like sleep's going to run out and she'll have no more. She can sleep longer tomorrow.