Ousted

Bree and I have been evicted. It all began innocently enough a few weeks back, while my mother was in town. Like all life changes that we don't want to accept, instead of seeing the writing on the wall and admitting what was actually happening, we first wrote it off as a fluke, a one-off.

As we came to bed, Otter, who had been sleeping blissfully, stirred (as she often does) and my heart began pounding hard enough for her (and all of our neighbors) to hear it. I struggled to calm myself, since I'm weirdly convinced that Otter can feel my adrenaliney panics that she will wake. It seemed to work.

But I was fooled - after lulling us into complacency by settling back down, Otter did the unthinkable. An hour later she woke, screaming bloody murder for no apparent reason. And now there was no settling her back down. We walked and comforted, we rocked, we sang. We pretended we didn't notice the hysterical sobbing.

It seems that the only acceptable position was hovering over her crib. After 20 minutes of me standing doubled over the bar, wondering if it was humanly possible to sleep like this, she settled into what I thought was sleep. I gingerly shifted my weight back. Not took a step. Not moved a foot. Just shifted my weight. It was all over - and the screaming redoubled at twice the volume.

Bree and I had a two options. Put her into bed with us - which we've tried, resulting in only Otter getting any sleep, as she somehow manages to use her 2' 4" frame to push me entirely out of bed, leaving me clinging for dear life. Or leave the room. Which is what we did. Guiltily, we skulked out, leaving Otter to scream her lungs out, and us to pretend it didn't bother us. 15 minutes later (after over an hour of our unsuccessful intervention) Otter was out. The only evidence of her ordeal was a general puffiness the next day. But hey, we were ALL puffy.

Thus the plan was hatched - when Otter bawls, we comfort first, flee soon thereafter. For a while, we camped out on the couch. Now, since the the guest room is vacant, we've moved there. Last night, Otter didn't even bother to seem upset after we left - within a minute, she was asleep.

It seems our little girl is telling us she wants a room of her own. Or rather, that she has her own room, and we better get the F out of it...