Learning to Breathe, Part 2

Monday was our Part 2 of 2 Prepared Childbirth class. And while I can't say that I gathered much new info in the field of breathing, I have picked up a few things in my two weeks there.

1. Apparently, there is a direct correlation between length of seminar and seriousness of the attendees. So the people in the 2 week class are there because they were pressured into doing it and don't have much time to waste on breathing, figuring it'll all go out the window once they're in labor anyway, while the people in the 5 week class are there to LEARN. As a result, the people in the 2 week class have a much better sense of humor about the whole thing and regularly make inappropriate comments about the process. These are my kind of people.
* This is based strictly on hearsay, as we fortunately, only attended the 2-week breathing seminar.

2. I have found several "labor positions" that are acceptable. Unfortunately, there seems to be an inverse correlation between the level of my comfort and that of my "labor partner" - aka, Bree. The most comfortable position involves him leaning on a chair and forming a "table" while I drape my full weight over him. Even without me writhing in excruciating pain, as I surely will be, something tells me this wouldn't last long in the real world.

3. I have seen things I can never unsee. I'll leave it at that.

4. To quote Bree, "There is no good way to do this, is there?"

At the end of the class, we were given a tour of the rather...cozy...labor and delivery rooms and handed our graduation certificates. Kind of like our dog did, upon completing Obedience School. Though he uses his new skills daily (if on a selective and limited basis), while most of my new Knowledge best be stored away, until the day I'm a contestant on Maternity Jeopardy.