The Many Incarnations of Otter

Some 5 years ago, after we'd promised to love each other more than cheese, taken a million pictures and danced our first dance as husband and wife, my brand new father-in-law took the stage and sang a song he'd composed for Bree and me. In it, he applauded our love and called on everyone to celebrate our own, special language.

Indeed, Bree and I do often create our own terminology, which might be confusing to the non-initiated. And Otter's arrival has created a whole new category. So to avoid any unintentional confusion, here is a brief outline of terms used, their definitions and etymologies.

Otter - noun - our daughter. Like the animal. She looked like one when she was first born and makes an otter-like noise.

Poopy Otter - 1) noun - poop; 2) adjective - what she is when she poops.

Ottered - to get pooped on. As in, "I just got ottered." - Yes, we actually need a term for this.

Pukey Otter - adjective - what she is when she burps. Which happens - a lot.

Chicken Otter - adjective - hungry Otter. She does this weird pecking thing when she's hungry.

Franken Otter - adjective - She went through a stage when she would just hold her arms out in front of her, a la Frankenstein. She's a bit more graceful now, but it still happens sometimes.

Cranken Otter - adjective - Cranky, crying, tired, unhappy Otter. Happens every night.

Poopy Towel - noun - the towel we change her on. For some reason, this is her happy place. While we are disturbed by her choice of locale to giggle and coo, we don't question it. Just thank our lucky star that at least she's happy here.

Until she isn't.