Near Death Experience

Every family has anecdotes about nearly killing their baby. At least that's what I choose to believe, lest I feel like my family was more flippant than average in their approach to my care.

For me, it was the time my mother let me fall off the dining table. Or when my father fell asleep with me on the couch and I crawled off the edge, earning a concussion.

Well, today the baton of near-death has been passed from the older generation to me. In an effort not to follow too closely in my parents' footsteps, I decided to forgo furniture mishaps and focused instead on peas.

Otter had just settled down to lunch when I made my move. Since she had a month and a half of solids, we've been slowly moving towards more texture in her food. So after cooking and mashing the peas, I skipped the step of running them through a strainer. I wouldn't want SB thinking I was treating her like a baby.

The first few spoonfuls went down the hatch without a hitch. And I was just starting to feel quite self-satisfied when Otter choked. I don't mean the kind of gagging that leads to some polite coughing and a few dabs of the napkin. I'm talking no air going in or out, turning bright red, eyes popping out of her head kind of chocking.

We didn't panic. We instantly leaned her forward, and firmly tapped her on the back. And nothing happened. Otter stayed red and un-breathey. My Cool Hand Luke demeanor went out the window as I tried to extricate her from her chair while simultaneously ransacking my brain for any useful information on the Heimlich maneuver. The only readily available facts were these: I had half-assed learned the Heimlich in 9th grade health class. No one pays attention in health class. We never actually tried the Heimlich on anyone, rendering my barely there knowledge hypothetical. Oh and, assuming we were not parents at age 14 (incorrectly for some of us, I think), the school failed to instruct us in performing the technique on a baby. In a word, Otter was screwed.

But before I had a chance to publicly and tragically prove my lack of baby first aid (followed by my nonexistent of knowledge of Baby CPR) SB did me the favor of vomiting voluminously and thus dislodging the pea obstruction.

Lucky for us both, I suppose.