Thursday, May 1, 2008

Will She-Blob Be Damien?


I've read that it's only natural to have doubts about your abilities as a parent-to-be. Will I know when my child is hungry? How will I balance being a mother and a working professional? Can I be a good role model? Will I accidentally (or not so accidentally) lose my child at Target?

Sure you have your qualms, but you can actually take steps to prepare yourself for parenthood. But what if your doubts are about what your actual child will be like? I mean, did Lionel and Joyce Dahmer suspect the hand they were going to be dealt?

I'm not suggesting I expect to birth a cannibalistic serial killer. And I should also point out that I'm currently working on a show that involves very, very bratty children. So granted, my outlook is somewhat slanted right now. But seriously, what do you do when your child's idea of a good time is setting small fires or stealing cars? A simple "time out" seems a bit, well...simple.

Many people have told me that ultimately we will be the ones to set the parameters She-Blob will evolve under, and that if we parent vigilantly and well her offences should be minor and manageable. And I want to believe them. This morning, on the way to work, I heard a story about a boy who stole his grandmother's car, drove it 3 miles hitting mailboxes, parked cars and moving vehicles along the way while he and his friend smoked cigarettes. When asked if he realized that he could have killed someone, he said yes, but it was fun to do bad stuff.

He's 7.

What do you do with that? Seriously?

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