Operation Fatten Up

For months, it was my dirty little secret. And revealing it now probably won't win me many friends. But in the interest of honesty and posterity and all that jazz, I have convinced myself that it is my obligation to share as much of my adventures with She-Blob as socially acceptable. Besides, my main purpose in avoiding the topic was to prevent my parents from needlessly worrying. Now that they've seen me in person, the cat is out of the proverbial bag, so here goes.

After having Otter, I lost my baby weight quite quickly. In fact, two months in, I was back to my original pre-birthing weight. It happened without me noticing, and I figured a helpfully good metabolism and breastfeeding (which burns something crazy like 500 extra calories) were to thank. "Go me," I thought, once again reclaiming my pre-baby wardrobe.

I ate what I wanted, in the quantities I wanted, but the weight loss continued. And by January, when I had dipped about 10 lbs. below my pre-pregnancy weight, my friend conducted an intervention. I was told in no uncertain terms that I better start gaining back flesh, or else. It was like reliving my high school days (when I had my obligatory bout of not eating), except for the part where I WAS eating, and still losing weight.

Thus began "Operation Fatten Up," Bree's valiant attempt to put some meet back on my boney ass. It required the consumption of burgers and shakes. The pounds stayed off. I realized there isn't a whole lot of information out there on excessive post-pregnancy weight loss. The Internet was overrun with methods on losing your baby weight, but none on gaining some of it back. Apparently the world thinks mine is a non-problem with a very simple solution: eat more.

Returning to work made me even more self concious. As I dipped into double figures (a neighborhood I hadn't lived in since, like, 9th grade), I found myself hiding in loose, shapeless clothes while co-workers eyed me with a mix of concern, certain suspicions, and absolutely no interest in hearing my "problem." Seriously, people who complain about being too thin are annoying. I know exactly what they were thinking, 'cause frankly, I instantly think it about underweight women too. Even when I don't know they'd just had a baby.

I began avoiding photos which would reveal too much body, stopped wearing anything with a v-cut neckline, and actually acquired a few clothing items that fit, which helped somewhat. Still, on the days I got careless, and wore something a bit too form or skin-revealing, I was bound to have the "Are you ok?"/"Yes, I AM eating," conversation at some point.

So here I am, 10 months later. Operation Fatten Up has been sporadic, but finally may be starting to have an effect. I've managed to put on about 5 lbs., and though I am still hovering about 6 lbs. below my starting weight, it seems that once I'm done nursing it should all come back on its own. In the meantime, maybe I can start a support group for the underfed...