Questions

So I've been running this mom racket for nearly 6 weeks now, and have seen some amazing highs and some dark hours (in the literal and figurative sense, which usually run concurrently) that could kill even the most buoyant of spirits. And it seems that though a little more frazzled for wear, we will eventually emerge out the other side.

But I still have questions about how this all works. Namely...

1. What really goes on at those Mommy & Me classes? Does everyone just sit around with their non-interacting babies and congratulate themselves on being so proactive in their children's development? Much like the ceremonies of the Masons or the Elks, M & M is veiled in mystery with a hint of superiority.

2. Why do some mothers think that because they breastfeed at home, they can whip out their boobs any old time to give Jr. a snack? Don't get me wrong, there's a degree of whippage that I'm responsible for, but it's in my home, and not in front of my father-in-law, and usually after I've asked any non-husband, child or dog people in the house if it's OK with them. REEAALLY hard to keep talking to you in the middle of IHOP while you're flashing the entire dining room with a baby attached to your nipple.

3. Why do I suddenly find myself referring to myself not only in the third person (which is an offense in and of itself) but as "mom"? WTF?

4. More importantly, how do I stop?

5. Where does my day go? Seriously, how do 12 hours tick by and all I have to show for it are two loads of laundry, unloading the dishwasher, and the occasional blog entry?

6. Why is there so much laundry? SB doesn't wear that much clothing.

7. How does a creature as small as Otter produce that much poop?

8. And why do I know so much about baby poop? I'd heard people talk about it as if it held the secret key to the universe and wondered how they'd gotten to that point in their lives. Now I wonder how it happened to me.

9. How did people ever manage to raise babies before the Internet? I'm doing Google searches every day for some new weird thing that SB is going through.

10. Finally, how do babies know to learn to smile just as you're nearing your wits end, and once again endear themselves to you just in the nick of time? Why does a smile from Otter (or even that hilarious, exaggerated frown she's now practicing) garner instant forgiveness for all of the crying and screaming she was just engaged in?

Image by tj scenes