Nesting

Photo by Denis Lepage

I've got a confession to make. In my heart of hearts, I fancy myself an interior decorator. Not that I have any experience or credentials, beyond hanging the occasional curtain rod or photo in my home and hoping that no one will notice that it's crooked. But if I were to wake up tomorrow and my fabulous television career was no more, I think I'd be perfectly happy moving furniture around people's rooms.

I feed the obsession by poring over design blogs and websites, purchasing expensive glossy magazines and occasionally looking into design classes only to realize that they're way too expensive-so-why-don't-I-just-shut-up-and-concentrate-on-putting-together-TV-shows-which-is-what-I'm-supposedly-being-paid-for-anyway.

Having She-Blob could, theoretically, fulfill my decorating dreams, while providing me with a concrete justification for the hours of procrastinating I spend on decor8, design*sponge, Apartment Therapy and Domino Magazine's website. She will, after all, need a safe, cozy, colorful and (most importantly) stylish room to call her own.

Since Bree and I decided we're still way too selfish to give up our guest room to a mere child, She-Blob's fate is to spend her infant years in our office. Now before you roll your eyes in disbelief at our self-centered-ness, I would like to point out that I spent my initial days in a basket and a drawer, so I am, dare I say, providing a better life for my spawn.

On the downside, the office is inconveniently taken up by office furniture. Which poses a problem. But unlike a month ago, when Bree and I faced parenthood by purchasing a chair, we now have a PLAN.

Step 1: Purchase a crib that won't kill the kid. Check!

Step 2: Purchase a changing table/dresser thingy that won't kill the kid. Check!

Step 3: Purchase an office cube that will replace the desk that is currently too big to allow Steps 1 and 2 to actually be placed in the room. Also...check!

Step 4: Wait for items to be delivered.

Step 5: Come up with a theme for the room. This CANNOT be too girly or involve large areas of pink of swathy fabrics. And since the foreseeable future she's gonna be living in our house, it really doesn't matter if she likes it or not. We need to find it appealing. Besides, she won't be able to talk for a while so there'll be no complaining. Jungle room...check!

Step 6: Select paint for the walls. This is more complicated, as the paint not only has to be the proper colors, but must also meet the environmentally safe, low emission requirements that won't send me and She-Blob into a swoon.

We seem to have stalled out at Step 6, though we have considered a stencil border that will make the Jungle Room come alive, if we ever paint it...